Therapy Mini: Can Grief Make You Physically Sick?

Grief isn’t just something we feel.
It’s something the body carries.

Many people come to counselling worried that something is “wrong” with them physically - exhaustion that won’t lift, chest pain, stomach issues, headaches, brain fog - only to discover that grief is sitting quietly underneath it all.

Not dramatic.
Not obvious.
Just… heavy!

When grief doesn’t stay in the mind

Grief activates the nervous system in the same way ongoing stress or trauma does. When the body senses loss, whether that’s bereavement, relationship breakdown, estrangement, miscarriage, chronic illness, or anticipatory grief, it moves into survival mode.

Over time, this can show up physically as:

• Persistent fatigue or heaviness in the limbs

• Tight chest, shallow breathing, heart palpitations

• Digestive problems, nausea, IBS-type symptoms

• Headaches, jaw tension, muscle pain

• Lowered immunity, frequent illness

• Sleep disruption, vivid dreams or waking exhausted

• Brain fog, forgetfulness, difficulty concentrating

This doesn’t mean the grief is “all in your head”...it means your body has been trying to protect you.

The body remembers what the mind avoids

Grief is often postponed, especially when life demands functioning.

People keep going.
They look “strong”.
They care for others.
They return to work.

But grief that isn’t given space doesn’t disappear, it relocates!

The body becomes the place where unshed tears, unspoken anger, and unfinished goodbyes settle and this is why people sometimes feel worse physically months or years after a loss once the shock has worn off.

Grief, anxiety, and depression - the physical overlap

Grief often overlaps with anxiety and depression, which both have strong physical components:

• Anxiety can amplify chest tightness, breathlessness, dizziness, gut issues

• Depression can slow the body down; heavy fatigue, aches, low energy, changes in appetite

When grief is unrecognised, people may feel confused or even ashamed:
“Why am I still tired?”
“Why can’t I just move on?”
“Why does my body feel like it’s given up?”

There is nothing weak about this response. It's human.

A Moment to Breathe

Pause for a moment and ask yourself:

If my body could speak freely about this loss, what would it want me to know?

No fixing.
No forcing meaning.
Just listening.

Sometimes that alone can soften symptoms, not because the grief vanishes, but because it’s finally been acknowledged.

Closing — An invitation

If grief or loss is affecting your mental health or your body, whether that shows up as anxiety, depression, exhaustion, physical tension, or feeling emotionally stuck, you don’t have to navigate it on your own.

Counselling doesn’t rush grief or try to “resolve” it neatly. Instead, it offers space for the body and mind to reconnect, gently, safely, and without judgement.

When grief is allowed to be felt, named, and held, the body often no longer needs to shout.

If something in this post resonated and you’d like to explore counselling with me, you can get in touch through my contact form here. I’d love to hear from you.